Unicorns, Poly, and happiness?

Lifestyle change brings on countless possibilities. Moving opens your life to new friends and experiences. Changing careers allows for the expansion of knowledge and chances to advance. Then there are the deeper, more personal changes many don't discuss because that's "not how we were raised" and mentally goes against many of the morals that are leaned at a young age. Yet, there is the curiosity, the desire, to know more or even experience these personal longings. Even if we spend many years hiding it from ourselves, family, or even a significant other. The particular life changing event I wish to discuss at this particular time is Polyamory. For anyone unaware of what that is, exactly, it means the desire or practice of having an intimate relationship with more than one person with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. It's something that many people are uncomfortable with, since many people are hard wired to be monogamous above all else. So I'm sure you're lounging in bed saying, well, yeah, there's one person for everyone. ONE! Anything more is just out of greed or selfish need. Or maybe your sitting on the couch thinking, I've had those thoughts, but I would never think about acting on them! Well no matter your view, I'm sitting cross legged on the floor as I type this, wanting to break that mold of uncomfortable that comes to some people and the thought of greed and a selfish nature needed for something such as a Poly lifestyle. It's easy for someone with no knowledge to close their eyes and block their ears, pretending such things couldn't possibly exist. It's a sad way to live but I can understand the situation, since I used to be that way, to a lesser extent. It was easier to ignore since the whole thing seems like it can be a hot mess that I'd rather keep my own hands out of. My girl and I have been together nearly 3 years and the thought of someone else wanting to be with her intimately made me terribly angry more than anything. And jealous. We can't forget jealous. It was easy to have play time with men and for me to feel nothing after, even if I knew the favored her more. It didn't matter, they weren't hanging around and yet...the jealousy would come and go. I knew if nothing else, at least she was mine and mine alone, never to be shared past playing. As long as the rules were followed. Then again, I think that was sometimes part of the problem, my few rules seemed to be broken a time or two, by one person in particular, and that seemed to seal every man's fate as far as our relationship went. It became a tiring game with others, always making me feel left out. Then again, it was more them and me, considering my girl never gave me a reason to have that feeling. They never seemed to care much, which made me defensive of the life we were building and have spent time making stronger. Who were they to lust after my girl like that? They should be grateful to me for even inviting them to play with US! Like worshipping my feet grateful! There was no way, even if hell froze over, that I would give anyone the chance to be happy with her. Only I got that. Not that she had ever asked me for anything more. She was very against it as well. Religiously so. No problem then right? But life is never that simple. We finally made another lifestyle change recently, relocating to Arizona to get our life in order, or make an attempt to. At this point, our focus was on us. We didn't need to waste our time, not if it would be overly complicated to attempt at play with people who were mostly misleading at the end of it all. Then came a fateful day that changed both of our views entirely. There was a message in my Fetlife inbox that I was none too excited for. It was a common occurrence, for us to relocate and have all sorts of men wanting to get laid. Not to say I'm hot shit or anything and expect it. But it happens, one way or another, at some point in time. I had no desire to talk with this man but can say I've always been one to give the benefit of the doubt. How could I be so rude as to outright ignore him? So we talked, made plans to hang out, rethought these plans, then finally agreed to meet him at a local Dennys. Five hours later, I was beyond surprised we all clicked so well and so quickly. It developed from there and we took our first step into the Poly side of life, being lucky enough to want a deep, intimate relationship with us both. He made it easy for the two of us, with no previous desire, to dive in nearly head first. It was unimaginable, to find another someone for us to love. Most people were lucky to find their true love. And we were lucky enough to find another?! I made a point to tell him he shouldn't feel he belongs to us. He would be welcome, at anytime, to pursue someone he took interest in to be happy. And yet, that desire doesn't cross his mind, he simply wants his girls by his side. He is sweet, respectful, and above all, loving to us both equally. There seem to be various definitions for a Unicorn and I feel he is ours. A creature so noble and desired by all yet never to be had. And here we all are, happier than I would have ever expected in my life. I can say from a point of view that would have never accepted this type of relationship before, it is not a desire to have more than I need. It is not to fulfill some fantasy that was never lived out. There is no desire to cheat, exclude, or otherwise see anyone hurt. Our relationship of Polyfidelity happily started and developed quickly. Nothing I would have ever expected and a happiness for everyone involved. I see us as unbelievably lucky, as so many times I've seen it turn ugly. Instead, I was blessed with a gorgeous girl and the sweetest Sir I could have ever asked for. All in all, I've learned not to jump to conclusions about Poly or any other type of relationship those around me desire. There is always a side you haven't yet seen and who knows? You might even be missing out. ;)