Her worries

How do you disconnect with the overwhelming insecurities that come to buzz around and consume your thoughts in any relationship? Depending on the person, it is a heart wrenching idea, that any of those deep rooted feelings can push away someone you simply want closer to you. Lets say you have built that relationship with someone. They have come to love you unconditionally and would give you their world without a second thought. You couldn't be happier right? Then think, what if they want to add another into this happiness? What runs through your mind? Are you less than what they hoped for? Did they find someone else to love? Will you be pushed to the back burner for someone new? What have you done wrong for it to be this way rather than the happiness you had? I am speaking from the other side, as one who asked to add another person to an unbelievable relationship. Boiling everything down, for how I feel, there is no desperate need from something my girl cannot give. There is no deep desire to sneak around and gain something missing. She is everything to me. My love, my life, and I thought I could never be happier. It is all only made a deeper connection by her being there and enjoying our Poly triad as it continues to expand and flourish or even if it crashes and burns. A little back story on our situation should be given first. My girl and I have been together 3 years now and like any relationship, we've had our ups and downs. We've moved all around the country, met amazing friends as well as some less than desirable people, and I would have never done any of it without my other half. She's been nothing but supportive when I've felt at my worst. We've had jobs, quit them, moved and done it all over again. There was no place that made us feel at home. No people that really connected with us anywhere except the place we had originally left. But now we were stuck living in AZ with no way back, since this is where my mom was and we didn't have a choice but to live with her. I slowly felt myself becoming depressed but realized, I'm not the only one involved in this. Molly suffered more by watching me pity my poor self. So I shook off the mood and we went on with our life. I was worried about her emotional state being effected at this point. I was unsure of what could be done. Then he came along. Someone I had no interest in talking to. He was another guy that wanted to get his dick wet, right? At least that's what most of our experience has been. No one wanted to develop a friendship, never mind anything deeper, unless it was them trying to get in something. So what could this guy possibly offer? But we gave him the benefit of the doubt and met him in a public place. After a few hours, Molly and I had a moment alone and she looked at me with a big grin, asking what I thought of him. At that moment, it was clear she had a good first impression, otherwise she would have been ready to go after 5 minutes. Instead, we were there for nearly 5 hours. It simply flowered out from there, developing naturally. A deep emotion and caring that had never been felt for either of us since each other. And then came the time to ask Molly how adding him to our relationship would make her feel. She was apprehensive, which I expected, due to past failed Poly relationships. We talked, endlessly that night, and I was able to put her worries at ease. Without communication, all of the fear and hesitation she faced could have prevented a wonderful thing from developing deeper. It also brought back some of the fire in our relationship and has helped us being in better spirits. Part of that, I believe, is the level of love and caring he shows for us and our emotional distress in putting trust in him and still hold trust with each other to always be open. It is a constant battle, but one that doesn't have to end in casualties. It comes down to putting yourself aside sometimes and devoting your time to showing anyone you're trying to have close to including in your life that trust is earned on either side, whether it's your own special triad or something more.