My own jealousy

"It's my personal opinion that jealousy is made up of a suite of emotions, just like a football team is composed of a bunch of players. Sometimes, not every player is involved in a play but the team gets credit- or blame- when the play is called. This usually means that just calling out the whole team - I'm jealous - doesn't really reveal too much information. So I wanted to list all the things I have actually meant over the past years when I told a poly or open partner that I was jealous. Or when I didn't tell them like i should have. I'm afraid of losing you You can't possibly think he's as good as me Really? You think he's attractive? I'm concerned about what the people here are going to think Why can't I be the desirable one today? I am unable to emotionally process this right now I feel insecure because of other things I feel insecure because of something you did I don't trust that person I don't trust you right now, to care for my feelings I haven't considered my feelings yet and want time to do that Fear/anger/loss/insecurity/need that I can't put into words right now and I'm a little sad you don't pick up on. If you do this, people will laugh at me I just want one thing in the world for myself right now. I just want to see you right now I just want I feel like you are angry at me and that makes this not good I question your motives I question the motives of that person I don't feel good enough in other areas of my life right now I am unsure about your judgment I need attention I feel like I'm doing more work than you We are drifting apart I want you to feel like you belong here And I'm sorry I used the shorthand. "I'm jealous" really didn't give you any information." The above is given full credit to mutilato on Fetlife and he has given me full permission to use his writing here. In reading his words, I've come to comprehend my own feelings of jealousy that I could not express fully. I'm jealous is not enough to go on, or truly explain what the deeper hurt is. We've been hurt so far beyond I'm jealous and I could never really tell anyone. It's hard to say this is how I feel and I want you to know, so we can talk and work it out together. So I don't bottle it. So it doesn't build up and cause fights in our relationship. But there is more. I also love you both. And even that word doesn't encompass the emotion of it. Yet that's a story for another post. I'm sorry, and thank you for having patience with me.