Wolves In The Night Life

At A Standstill

2010-05-06T09:57:00.000-07:00

So, despite the fact that my life was and is looking up considerably, there are things that continue to try to push me back to my depressive state. I wish I wasn't so easily thrown to depression. Don't get me wrong, I have the best girl in the world, who is now under my roof and out of that terribly stressful situation she faced at home, but this trying to get a job and failing nearly every time, is making me wanna put my head through a plate glass window.
I had a good job for a while, good in the sense that it paid well, but beyond that, was too much for me to take on. I feel if being at your current place of employment makes you contemplate drinking cleaning supplies so they will send you home, it may be about time to quit.
Unfortunately, in letting that place go, I have yet to get another job and am feeling myself slip back into my depression, despite my trying 10 times harder to get a job.
*sigh* I feel like there have just been too many mistakes on my part. I quit college and am fighting so hard for jobs, only to get one and have it be a disaster in so many ways and have to quit. Why can't I stop being such a fuck up? I want to help my mom so badly with the bills but have to sit idly by and cry myself to sleep some nights because all I can see is my failure.
Sometimes I think that's all she sees as well...
If I was a drinker, or even of age to drink, this would probably be the point where I would stop my typing, if for just a second, to sip the vodka, straight, as I heard it is stronger that way. But alas, I am not either of those things to provoke that action. So I will continue to type, as that seems easier than to pour the drink and start such a nasty habit which has plagued most of my family for such a long time. Granted, I'm one of the few in the family that does not have an addictive personality but I'd rather not run that risk.
Sometimes I have to remind myself how important breathing is. I have caught myself holding my breath at times without realizing it. Maybe it is a subconscious knowing that if I am sleeping or, all the same, unconscious, that I won't have to think so much about everything that is invading my mind and always whispering that I've done nothing but disappoint. It's so much easier when none of it is on my mind, when I sleep or occupy my time appropriately. That as well has become much more difficult and allowed me to think of other things that I may have not done wrong but my mind has altered my memory of the events to make me believe I have.
Maybe I should see someone about that...
All I can do now, is hope for things to change. As long as I have my girl. <3

Our Secret Pathway

2010-01-26T19:37:00.000-08:00

For my girl. I love her with all of my heart.

She closed her eyes. They still spoke as the girls spun about the room but it was a far off sound now. Darkness spread out from them, leaving nothing but the glitter of stars above and grass of an open field beneath their feet as they moved. The smaller of the girls slid her hands over the other's shoulders, pulling her just a bit closer as their movements meshed, sending them into a graceful spin. As the did so, both began a transformation that was as fluid to them as water. With every step, the smaller of the two grew, her bones shifting and growing as she developed into a large bipedal creature that looked more wolf than human. Sleek black fur spread over the girl's entire body, a long tail swinging out behind her. Eyes following suit, they melted from brown to a deep amber color, a grin revealing her long rows of sharp fangs as the oceanic blue dress she wore split and ripped away from her body. A smile spread over the other girl's bright red lips as large wings spread out from her back, feeling as if their sheer size could take up all of time itself. Carefully, the now Lycan girl reached out to brush a hand over the wings that were surprisingly soft to the touch. Fangs grew into the still smiling mouth and her eyes shifted to a dark red that accented not only her ruby lips but the blood colored corset she wore under her tux. Both looked to the dark sky that enveloped them and watched as the stars seemed to play music to their private waltz. Feeling absolute warm surround them both, as the summer air brought crickets to join in the natural music, the now larger Lycan girl closed her eyes again. Slight flickers could be heard as fireflies came to see what the commotion was as well, joining in the pleasantries of this dance. Bright laughter escaped both girls, as the two were pleased to have others willing to join in their fun. In a quick moment of delight, the young Vampire girl flared her wings so she would be lifted to the same eye level as her Lycan love, spinning the girl into her arms and leaning in close. Everything melted back to what they had once left behind, the marble floor under their feet and expensive ivory, granite, and stained glass making up the room surrounding them. Other people came back into view, staring and whispering as the two girls leaned close and kissed sweetly, sealing away their secret world and who they truly were from greedy eyes.

Contemplating My Resistance

2010-01-02T20:31:00.000-08:00

So I have noticed a reaccuring theme: They always assume I did something wrong. So currently a friend of mine has decided he would move out to California with no money, no job, and no plan. I told him I supported him but that it seemed like a very bad idea and that he should at least wait a bit. Do you know how he took my advice? He told me to let him do things wrong on his own and to stop trying to change his plans just because they didn't fit to mine, said he shouldn't have to explain himself, then deleted me from his facebook....Yeah, all of that seemed like a rational answer to me as well. So after 6 long years, he is still pulling the same shit as always. And I am finally done putting up with it. I don't hate him, I think he is acting like a child, but I just don't care anymore, so it's done with. Oh, and some of our mutual friends blamed me, without knowing the situation. Good to know it matters. Well, at least I know who my real friends are. Thank you my Michael! And Juile and Nichole as well. Love you guys!

Books, writing, and My Bloody Valentine

2009-12-01T18:50:00.000-08:00

I noticed that I have been away for quite a while and feel it is because I am having trouble getting in writing about the movies I love so much again.
The good news: I have started reading again! <3 The books I have fallen in love with: The Looking Glass Wars. It is a book I highly recommend for anyone interested in Alice In Wonderland. It is a bit of a different take and I love what I have read so far.
Speaking of Alice In Wonderland, Wicked Faire is fast approaching, faster than I would like. The money needs to be put out for my costuming material soon and I must also figure out how to put it all together. I know it will look good once finished, I just have to actually get it done. *sigh* I am just so laaaazy! But it will happen, I will make sure of it before Wicked gets here.
I need to start taking pictures again, since I have a new digital camera and I look forward to going out to the woods not far off from here to get some good ones for the first time in over just about a year.
Just as well, I have started writing again. It helps to make me feel better in hard times, though things have started looking up a lot. Anywho, because I feel it must be done, I shall talk about My Bloody Valentine a bit!
First off, one of the funniest horror movies I have seen in a long time. The death scenes are absolutely fantastic and they make it an absolutely amazing movie, by far! It is something best seen in 3D, as it was originally intended, so I would suggest buying it as so and watching it.
As far as story line, it is pretty crazy and the ending was a bit of a surprise, as everything pointed to one person as the killer then it turned out to be someone completely different.
It is something worth having in your collection, as is the original, as it is much more cheesy than the remake! The Miner is a very fun killer to watch at work and knowing Chris Carnel does all of his stunts makes it that much better! Whenever that Miner costume is on, he IS Chris Carnel!
That man is great as well, being extremely nice and rather perverted, as Molly and I met him not too long ago at Rock and Shock. He is not a man you would expect to be doing the stunts he does for a living, as he is much smaller than the other men that are in the horror movie line of work. Chris is adorable and I wish we had brought him home!
So, a good movie overall, if you like to laugh and love masked killers. It is without a doubt, a movie to have!
I guess that is all of what is to be said here for now. Hopefully I can get back sooner to write again.

To step back for a moment...

2009-11-04T18:10:00.000-08:00

Though I attempt to use this blog strictly for talk of movies, I will stray, if not but just this once, to talk of something other.

I guess my biggest thing is that I have been depressed a lot lately. Mostly due to the fact that I never get to see the girl I fell so hard for and her other girlfriend seems to keep her from me. Personally, I was never one to let my emotions get the best of me so I kept it to myself, aside from the occassional talk with my friends about what I could do. I was always fine with covering up my pain and then would allow myself to cry over it when I got home. But I knew it would be something to deal with and something I would be able to overcome. The strength tends to run in my family.
Aside from my own issues, my friends have been sinking into painful places in their lives lately as well. Some I understand, some they can't even figure out themselves. It is something I can relate to, only because it happens, to most everyone, at some point or another. I just wish there was more I could do than just sit by and wait but in most cases, waiting is my only option. So I continue. I wait and pace the floors of my own house, waiting for some small sign that things will look up, for everyone. Sometimes it doesn't take long while other times....they may not come back from it. I have come to realize, it happens. Unfortunately.
Now, coming back to the issue I am facing with the one I care so much about, I feel like lately, we have been growing further apart and that I may have to let her go. It seems that I don't often have luck with any kind of love life, considering the only other girl I feel like I truly could love is with someone she loves very much. And as much as I want to be with her, I am just happy that she has someone to really love. I myself will just have to keep looking, it would seem.
Moving out is also one of the most difficult things to deal with. I am still trying just oh so hard to get my own place and get out of here. Though I wouldn't be able to do it on my own. Luckily, I should have this job that I recently put in for so that is my first step. And if I am lucky, my friend plans to get a new place and let some of us move in with him, if we can pay a little bit of the rent. That works just fine for me.
I guess this is just really so I could get everything out of my head and down somewhere so things wouldn't continue to be so cloudy all the time...I wonder if other people do the same, like famous people. If they write things down so they don't feel like it's stuck in their mind.
My next blog will be back on the topic of movies! My Bloody Valentine is my next review. All for you Bonnie, lol!

Halloween and Dog Soldiers

2009-10-29T10:51:00.000-07:00

Bonjour, my little fluffies!
I did not happen to put up my Halloween blog yesterday, as I had planned, so here it is for your viewing today! And since I waited a day, I will also throw in my review of Dog Soldiers at the end for anyone interested in Werewolf movies.
So, as of yesterday, I watched Halloween 4 for the first time. I have also seen Halloween 1, 5, 6, H20, Resurrection, as well as both remakes. As my friend Molly has pointed out, Halloween 3: Season of the Witch, does not count as a true Halloween movie, as Michael is not even in it. It should not have been one to follow the line of such a legendary franchise and is never even aired with the other movies during the Halloween holiday. As such, we will not further discuss this disappointment for a so called movie. Moving on!
Halloween, much like Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th, became a legend of horror movies, something frightening about the presence of a silent serial killer who is supposedly human but posses immortal qualities. Such as not dying when being shot, electrocuted, stabbed, or burned alive. He is also able to be anywhere he wants with no real problem. Also, much like all old legendary horror movies, when they were at one point scary to the public, they are now more amusing than anything.
But the Halloween franchise is, without a doubt, a great movie for it's time, as well as now. The death scenes are a favorite, as well as Michael's constant sudden appearances that are always expected but humorous none the less. Also, the silent aspect of Michael Myers helped to truely make his character, as he never speaks as well as never even makes a sound when injured. Something about knowing they could be there yet never hearing them had people checking under their beds and in their closets for the "Boogie Man" for many years to come. Michael left a huge impact on horror movie fans starting early on in 1978. Much more recently, and more for today's horror fanatics, is Rob Zombie's remake of Halloween and Halloween 2.
This remake of an already amazing movie did not receive as many bad comments of how bad everyone expected it to be as most other remakes had. It, in fact, did a fantastic job of redefining Michael Myers as an actual human being rather than leaving him with less of a back story and nothing more than a cold blooded killer. It is actually shown that he had emotion as he still loved his younger sister and mother, even after being grown and supposedly "going crazy" His subtle head tilts also showed that he never truely got to grow up and lose his childlike nature.
In the second one, you see much more of his angerBonjour, my little fluffies!
I did not happen to put up my Halloween blog yesterday, as I had planned, so here it is for your viewing today! And since I waited a day, I will also throw in my review of Dog Soldiers at the end for anyone interested in Werewolf movies.
So, as of yesterday, I watched Halloween 4 for the first time. I have also seen Halloween 1, 5, 6, H20, Resurrection, as well as both remakes. As my friend Molly has pointed out, Halloween 3: Season of the Witch, does not count as a true Halloween movie, as Michael is not even in it. It should not have been one to follow the line of such a legendary franchise and is never even aired with the other movies during the Halloween holiday. As such, we will not further discuss this disappointment for a so called movie. Moving on!
Halloween, much like Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th, became a legend of horror movies, something frightening about the presence of a silent serial killer who is supposedly human but posses immortal qualities. Such as not dying when being shot, electrocuted, stabbed, or burned alive. He is also able to be anywhere he wants with no real problem. Also, much like all old legendary horror movies, when they were at one point scary to the public, they are now more amusing than anything.
But the Halloween franchise is, without a doubt, a great movie for it's time, as well as now. The death scenes are a favorite, as well as Michael's constant sudden appearances that are always expected but humorous none the less. Also, the silent aspect of Michael Myers helped to truely make his character, as he never speaks as well as never even makes a sound when injured. Something about knowing they could be there yet never hearing them had people checking under their beds and in their closets for the "Boogie Man" for many years to come. Michael left a huge impact on horror movie fans starting early on in 1978. Much more recently, and more for today's horror fanatics, is Rob Zombie's remake of Halloween and Halloween 2, featuring Tyler Mane as the infamous Michael Myers.
This remake of an already amazing movie did not receive as many bad comments of how bad everyone expected it to be as most other remakes had. It, in fact, did a fantastic job of redefining Michael Myers as an actual human being rather than leaving him with less of a back story and nothing more than a cold blooded killer. It is actually shown that he had emotion as he still loved his younger sister and mother, even after being grown and supposedly "going crazy" His subtle head tilts also showed that he never truely got to grow up and lose his childlike nature.
In the second one, you see much more of his anger, as he actually yells and makes more autible sounds, as in the first, they were something you had to listen for. In the second, Michael is also attempting to kill his sister as she tried to leave him in the first one, as he now wants them all to be a family again. The illusion of Michael's mother is telling him that he has to "bring their family together again" by killing his younger sister. Even in death, he holds his mother very close to him.
Through both movies, in knowing what Rob Zombie was trying to get across in subtle tones, Michael just wanted to go back to how things were before he was taken from his mother and sister, when they were all a family, since he never actually came to understand why he had to leave them in the first place. Zombie really helped in adding to what Michael Myers was about and what drove him to what he did.
All things considered, I highly recommend these two remakes in the Halloween line, as well as any of the originals.
Now! My take on Dog Soldiers.
It's not a highly known film and, honestly, the start is a bit dragged on, dry, and boring. Just as well, it takes place in Scotland. Now there is nothing wrong with a movie from somewhere else, it can just make it a bit more difficult to understand. Much of the beginning was more military talk than anything but if you like that kind of thing, more power to you. Otherwise, when you get straight into the line of fire, it is a well done movie. The werewolves are very well created, as opposed to most horror movies that attempt at these otherworldly creatures. The storyline itself is also a bit simple and not too difficult to guess at ahead of time.
It is a good movie but not likely one you would watch more than once a year, maybe when it gets to be the Halloween season again, it would be one to dust off and rewatch. Other than the werewolf/military fight scenes, there isn't much to it. There is a bit of humor and some very great scenes but again, it is one that you will most likely only watch once in a blue moon.
Thank you for reading my lovelies!

Friday the 13th

2009-10-27T05:23:00.001-07:00

Hello all!
Since my subject yesterday was Nightmare on Elm Street, I thought today's topic could be Friday the 13th. Now this is the franchise I truely grew up on. Most of the movies were out before I was even old enough to watch them so by the time I was 4 in 1995, all but Jason X, Freddy Vs Jason, and the remake of Friday the 13th were out and I was watching them all from the first to the ninth. It seems like a young age, I know, but I handled horror movies well, even then. Despite Nightmare on Elm Street being my first real horror movie, I absolutely fell in love with Jason Voorhees, the Camp Crystal Lake killer.
In the first one, his mother was the one who took on this task but after she was beheaded, Jason took over, slaughtering one person after the other who ventured into the camp for a "good time" with friends. He even took the time to venture out to other places, such as Manhattan and even space. For older movies, the death scenes were, at the time, very well done and more than a little gruesome. Going back to watch the movies now, these scenes are nothing if not comedic in how they are done. And yet, it seems absolutely appropriate.
There were so many things to make these movies worth watching, despite their age as well as extremely violent death scenes. Anyone can be a murderer and kill half naked teenage kids at an abadoned summer camp, but it takes a special kind of person to be creative while doing so. Jason used nothing but the tools at his disposal when taking care of these oblivious adolescents, his weapon of choice becoming the infamous machete, though he didn't not hesitate to go back to the basics of killing.
Aside from all of this, Jason was also someone who had a purpose. He was looking to avenge his mother, as she had done for him when she had been alive. He isn't a killer who is picking off those at his camp just because he hates the world with no real backstory to it, as some of the older horror movies seemed to follow. A story with no explanation becomes nothing but a bloody mess, which can be nice at times, but this tale developed into a legend because of how it started then quickly progressed.
Coming into the more recent movies, such as Jason X, Freddy Vs Jason, and the remake, people were skeptical as well as quick to decide their feelings on these three before they even really came to the screen for people to see.
Personally, I believe Jason X was not meant to be a serious movie. Putting Jason in space screams comedy to me, and upon seeing this movie, I stand by that. It is the usual Jason killing those around him but it is a futuristic take on things. After being frozen in a cryogenic freezer, he ends up being unfrozen in the year 2455 aboard a spaceship and quickly begins to claim his victims yet again, trying to catch up on 4 years of killing. It is amazing, the deaths that can be had on a space ship so far off in the future. In the end, he is "stopped" by one of the crew members, who throws both himself and Jason into the Earth's orbit so they go hurtling back into Crystal Lake, that supposedly being the end of Jason's reign of terror.
Then comes Freddy Vs Jason, a personal favorite of mine. Freddy needs someone to help him grow stronger once again, to make people remember him so he will be allowed to kill through dreams once again. Upon awakening Jason and sending him to Elm St., he begins killing everyone in his path, getting to a point where Freddy can't get him to stop once he is strong again. It progresses to all out immortal warfare as Freddy and Jason fight each other to survive. It is, as well, a humourous movie, with Freddy's constant perverted banter and Jason's confused puppy dog looks. In the end, Jason "wins", walking from the lake with Freddy's decapitated head, which winks at the audience before the screen blacks out. Many people were skeptical about Ken Kirzinger taking on Jason's role in this movie but he, without a doubt, proved he can play the part without a hitch. The negative comments that went along with this movie were mostly taken back, aside from some hardcore fans who could not accept the idea of these two in one place together, no matter the real reason.
Next is the 2009 remake of Friday the 13th. There were many people who were against this movie being remade, as it was a classic and "should not be comprimised." I admit, I was skeptical at first as well but the movie turned out to be brilliantly remade. Derek Mears took Jason and helped to remake him as a character, using his size, body language, and his eyes to really get the intensity across. In this remake, Jason also runs, which is a small thing but many people didn't like yet I found it somewhat fitting to his character. Many of the things he did were very creative in his own way and the director, as well as all of the actors in the movie, truely helped reinvent the vision.
So that's all for now! And feel free to give me suggestions on other movies to look into.
Next: Halloween

A little more and Nightmare on Elm Street

2009-10-26T11:03:00.000-07:00

So in my last blog, I was a bit rushed to what I wanted to say and let people know. You didn't learn a whole lot about me, just the very shallow basics. Granted, they are anything but shallow to me, as movies and my girls are very big parts of my life, but I digress.
So, in preparing this blog, let me tell you a little about myself. I am an adventurous little thing, and referring to myself as little comes because I am only 5'3'', and I do many things that I'm sure many people now a days don't even bother to consider. I still like going out into the woods and getting myself lost to see if I can live out on my own in such a secluded place until I can get back. Again, I have never really been lost any longer than an hour or so but that isn't the point of it all. I like to dress up for Halloween, even though some people think 18 is too old to do so, and I go out to public places as needed. It would be no fun otherwise!
Speaking of fun, I have done something recently that I feel everyone should look into at least once in their lives. It's called, theatre! Yes, I love the theater. Though I have never really gotten the chance to go, I have preformed a bit myself. Again, it is not much to go by but it is a lot more exciting that one would think, you just have to find the show that is right for you. Romeo and Juliet, Phantom of the Opera, Anything Goes, Beauty and the Beast, Cats, Wizard of Oz, the list is an endless one!
Now what we did, it was a bit less of a theatrical production and more of free form expression of not only an amazing movie but as all of us as individuals. For people interested in looking into our Repo! shadowcast, you can find it here:
http://www.therepossessed.net/index.html
It is a show worth seeing, for anyone who likes a good laugh as well as some blood and gore.
I am very much a movie fanatic as well. Horror is a personal favorite of mine and I have watched many, from the "good" all the way to the "bad" I will be doing a lot of movie discussions, as well as video games and books. So that would be a good place to start, horror movies.
Lately, I have again watched all of Nightmare on Elm Street. Now, I grew up on these movies mind you so watching them at such a young age, all I knew was "Holy hell, this guy is killing all of these people in their dreams!" In all honesty, I was terrified of Freddy Krueger when I was little. Looking at it now, he is one of the funniest horror villians I have ever come to know! The word bitch is, without a doubt, a word that is apart of his every day vocabulary, so common to him as the word "the" is to the rest of us. He is a very perverted charater and even his smallest comments really add to who Freddy has become, from his beginning in 1984. Currently, they are working on a remake meant to come out in 2010 with Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy Krueger.
In my personal opinion, it will never be the same without Robert Englund as Freddy but, from what I have heard, he believes he is too old to play the part. I don't think he could ever be too old to be Freddy but I can understand, after so long that he would want to give someone else the chance. Unfortunately, it would seem much of the humor of the originals may be lost in this newer version, as well as a bit of the genuine storyline. It seems that when Freddy is accused, he is attempting to hide from the angry parents while asking them what he did wrong. In the originals, Freddy knew what he did wrong and took pride in his sick and twisted games. In not caring, it allowed Freddy to be much more out there in how he killed the teenagers whose dreams he invaded. This is also what made him so terrifying to so many people who were apart of the Nightmare on Elm Street fandom.
I plan to still see the remake when it comes out and have high hopes for it, with all of the new technology at the movie maker's disposal, as opposed to what they had so long ago. After seeing this movie, I will be sure to write my review on it as well as gather opinions from other who have seen it.
Au revoir!

The Beginning

2009-10-25T23:48:00.000-07:00

I have started this blog as a way to get out and talk about life as well as the going on within it. I am not out to seek approval, just to tell my story for anyone who may see it fit to take some kind of interest in it. I guess for anyone out there who doesn't know me, this is like the beginning, of who I am and who you will get to know me as.
Not too long ago, I met an amazing girl not but a year older than I through a fun little event called a Shadowcast of Repo! The Genetic Opera. If felt like love at first sight and now, nearly 5 months later, this beatiful girl and I are dating. It's nothing too serious at the moment but she's my girl and I love her. <3
On the subject of gorgeous girls, I became very close to a friend of mine lately, Molly, who, unbeknownst to us at the time, had a deep obsession that followed right along with mine. We started hanging out and both discovered we adored horror movies, and old school ones at that! It all began when she stayed over one night and was talking to me about the remake of Halloween and how much she actually loved the cheesy-ness of the older ones. I mentioned that I had never actually seen them and that provoked an all night Halloween marathon! We then discussed her love for Michael Myers and how I actually had love for Jason Voorhees, as he was the first serial killer I had seen when I was younger.
After that, her and I hung out non stop, and talked about what made us our serial killers and what made them special to us. It progressed further, in a way that we began to create Michael-isms. We continued to watch horror movies nearly every day, finding ways to make fun of them at every turn and making us love them even more!
Not long ago, Molly and I took a trip to Worcester to Rock And Shock, a horror con that had very awesome people, such as Derek Mears, Malcolm McDowell, Bill Moseley, Kane Hodder, Chris Carnel, and many others! It was a very good time and simply furthered our love for these characters, as the people who played them were, without a doubt, simply amazing! But there will be more on that entire trip later.
For now, this is a good time to end my beginning.